I’m crying as I write this…I’m totally in shock. I told my mum we were applying to adopt and I’m astonished by her reaction. Anyone I’ve told about this so far has been delighted for us and so encouraging by my own mother told me not to call her grandmother if we brought home a child from another country.

I was brought up in a liberal household so I thought…I’ve raised an eyebrow from time to time at comments she’s made about the number of refugees in our home town but I never thought she would react the way she did about a child.

I can understand her being upset about the idea of not having a biological grandchild but she should know how hard the last few years have been for us. But when I told her she just went quiet. A thing she does when she doesn’t approve of something.

I asked her what was wrong and she replied she supposed I should do what made me happy. This wasn’t good enough so I pointed out how hard it’s been over the past few years. She said something about the “bloodline” (coz we’re actually royalty or something I suppose -if you ask me our bloodline is better off stopping with me).

I knew that wasn’t all so I pushed further…she told me we didn’t know what we were bringing in to our home. I told her not to be stupid. She told me she wouldn’t be the grandmother.

I knew I wasn’t going to get a lot of support from that direction but I never expected such a biggotted reaction. I can never let her meet the child we bring home now because I wouldn’t subject a child to that level of biggotry.

I’m upset and angry. This isn’t the kind of thing I ever meant to write about on this blog – it’s too bloody public but I can’t keep quiet about that kind of reaction. I had assumed she’d be pleased for us but now I’m left with no mother at time when I could have done with the support.

After spending most of the day with a good friend and her mother I’m devastated that mine has once again shown how useless she is at the job.

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